Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Philadelphia, Part One

The Philadelphia Rebirthing Center greeted me Wednesday -- my first visit in over two years! Walking into the house, feeling its welcoming energy and seeing my good friends all combined to make me feel grateful, joyful and excited.
Knowing that I was about to begin teaching Patrick Collard's Apprenticeship was both humbling and enlivening. My support team included my co-teacher,Russell Lipensky, and Maureen Malone and Tony Lomastro, the Center managers and wonderful friends.

I enjoyed a full day of quiet time and relaxation on Thursday to gather my thoughts and feelings about teaching this Bodywork and Personal Growth course. Learning and practicing Patrick's techniques and principles have enriched and advanced my life more than I can ever say.

The participants in this course were awesome! They came from a wide variety of backgrounds and professions, ranging from bodyworkers and yoga teachers to artists and entrepreneurs, to teachers and business professionals. Each person brought a unique perspective and energy into the group, and all were united in their willingness to learn, share experiences and be fully present.
A significant part of the course is learning to develop intuition, that is, learning to use the right side of the brain to support the left side, instead of competing with it. We humans have such a wealth of abilities available to us when we learn to direct our minds in new ways. When the left and right sides of the brain learn to function together in harmony, we can move towards "whole brain" function, a state in which we acknowledge our unlimited potential and create what we desire in our lives effortlessly. Instead of being "goal-driven," we focus instead on successive "accomplishments," milestones on an infinite road of possibilities.

The second weekend of this six-day course begins Friday, October 2nd. More pics and info to come!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Creative Thought Case Study: Sandra

When we won't say "no," our bodies find a way to say "I can't." This is a situation I see frequently is big and small ways, including the stomach bug that gets someone out of a blind date they regretted agreeing to, or the broken arm that got someone out of an historically unpleasant family reunion. In Sandra's case, it was the vaginal bleeding that would start on the Fridays she was planning to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, ending on Sunday night when she was back in her own home.

Sandra's relationship with Max was on its last legs. During their first year together, Sandra and Max felt like they were the perfect couple -- both of them tall, slim, educated professionals with thriving careers. They were giddily happy, infatuated and in love, planning a sweet and pleasant future together. Gradually, Sandra started feeling self-conscious about the fact that Max was ten years younger than she was. She also did not like the way Max tried to monopolize her attention during the days that she had custody of her teenage son. Other, smaller resentments began to surface and soon Sandra knew that she and Max were fundamentally incompatible.

But Sandra was not willing to step up and explain her feelings to Max, terminating the relationship. She felt guilty and selfish for being unhappy in a relationship that appeared on the surface to be perfect, and was ashamed that she would have to explain to her mother that it was she, not Max, who had ended it. 

At first, Max was understanding about Sandra's "inability" to have sex during their weekends together, but it was not long before the loss of this last area of true intimacy between them caused Max to break up with Sandra. The bleeding stopped and never recurred.

During our session together, Sandra immediately made the connection between her unwillingness to tell Max the truth about her feelings and the bleeding. Also, it was not lost on Sandra that her covert agenda resulted in a body reaction that was hidden, and would affect a part of hers and Max's relationship that was invisible except to themselves. Sandra has continued to work on her relationship and communication skills, clearing old patterns and moving forward with what she wants for herself.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Birth Script: Forceps

Every baby is an expert on her own birth. Yes, there are babies who require assistance to be born, and medical intervention is necessary in a small percentage of births, but the vast majority of babies know exactly what they need to do to be born and are very good at doing it.

Enter the obstetrician armed with forceps, a pair of metal tongs that is fitted over a baby's head and used to pull/drag/tug the baby out of the birth canal. For a baby engaged in the hard work of being born, the use of forceps can be interpreted as interference and carry the message "you're not doing this fast enough."

One of the primary characteristics of those born with forceps is a conflict with authority. Birth is the baby's first experience of a relationship with an authority figure, namely the obstetrician. The use of forceps by the obstetrician forces a baby to be born on the obstetrician's timetable, not the baby's. The message to the baby from the obstetrician/authority figure is "I know better than you what's good for you." The use of forceps peaked during the baby boom generation; it is any wonder that the boomers, who started coming of age in the early 1960s, is a generation of individuals who taught us to rebel against authority?

(As long as I'm on the subject of conflict with authority, I want to point out how another birth practice affected the baby boomers: that of holding the newly-born baby upside down by his ankles. Picture a baby in the womb, curled in the fetal position, his spine one continuous curve from skull to sacrum, a position it has been in for nine months. If an obstetrician holds the newly-emerged baby upside-down by his ankles, his spine is suddenly and excruciatingly straightened out against gravity, with the point of greatest strain in the lumbar/lower back region. Babies born between 1946 and 1964 now, as adults, lead the country in the highest percentage of low back problems, most of which can be traced back to our unpleasant experiences with our first authority figures.)

Typical physical attributes of the forceps birth are:
  • Low back problems
  • Chronic headaches, vision and eye problems
  • Jaw and dental problems, particularly TMJ syndrome (temporomandibular joint syndrome caused by placement of the forceps)
  • Neck issues, including sensitivity and chronic flexibility problems
  • Gripping the forehead/rubbing temples with one or both hands in times of stress (I have seen people who actually develop red forceps marks on their heads when stressed)
  • Baldness/receding hairline where the forceps gripped
In addition, forceps births tend to have timing issues which manifest as always being early or late, but strenuously avoiding an appointed time. This is because, having been robbed of their own timing at birth, they spend the rest of their lives never being anywhere in anyone else's time. And, as mentioned, a lifelong conflict with authority figures, a conflict that increases geometrically if the person is, herself, an authority figure. 

Were you a forceps birth, and do you see in yourself a lot of these characteristics? If so, remember that these behaviors are simple habit. Once you understand that, you may also understand that it's not "just the way you are," but a behavior you developed based on early experience.

A note about my late posting this week. In two weeks I will be in Philadelphia teaching the 2009 Collard Method Program with Russell Lipensky. Preparing for this is taking a lot of my time. I will be posting only once a week for the time being. I hope to bring you lots of information during the program, along with photos of what promises to be a wonderful, enriching experience.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Creative Thought Case Study: Roxanne

Roxanne is a very successful account executive for a huge company that organizes trade shows and conventions. She is constantly plugged in to her staff via cell phone, Blackberry and, she has been told by those who work for her, telepathy, managing the organization of political conventions and confectionary trade shows with equal aplomb.

Roxanne came to me for help with neck and back problems, and as we started talking she told me about an ongoing problem she had with her staff. The projects she manages can take anywhere from six months to a year to plan and execute; the average timeline is about nine months. Roxanne's problem was that, despite meticulous planning, frequent meetings and constant communication, her staff seemed to desert her at the last minute, leaving Roxanne to manage the eleventh-hour tasks by herself. She was pretty much at the end of her rope and had recently been called into a meeting with two company vice-presidents about her performance on several major events that had had significant deadline issues. Several of Roxanne's staff had gone over her head and complained about the way Roxanne would treat them as things started to fall apart. It wasn't that she was wrong, they said, it was all about the manner in which she did it.

Cause and Effect

As we talked, I asked Roxanne about her birth script. She laughed, then was able to tell me in some detail about her birth, because it has been a chapter in the family folklore all her life. Roxanne was born on a gurney outside the delivery room because her obstetrician was busy delivering another baby and did not make it to her birth. Roxanne, the fifth of seven children, pretty much delivered herself.

Roxanne told me her mother had been seen throughout her pregnancy by her regular obstetrician who had attended the birth of each of Roxanne's four siblings, and joked a little about being there for the fifth. Roxanne's mother was concerned about what she thought would be a very short labor, based on her previous experience, to the point where she went to the hospital twice thinking she was in labor when she was not. The doctor took this all in stride, chuckling a little as he reassured her there would be plenty of time, and that he would be there when she actually went into labor. Other priorities for the doctor intervened in the form of another delivery, and Roxanne, deadline upon her, was left to take care of the matter on her own.

Fast forward to the present, and Roxanne continues to repeat her birth script with virtually every project she works on. Those who pledge to support her and be there for her over an average of nine months (her staff, in the role of her obstetrician) desert her at the last minute, leaving her to handle the big event by herself. This was a huge revelation for Roxanne, who was immediately able to see that she was repeating her birth out of simple habit. Empowered to make a life-altering change by shifting her thinking, Roxanne now views her staff as civilians, not as players in her ongoing birth drama, and there has never been another glitch in a project due to timing.

Remember the staff members who complained to upper management about the way Roxanne treated them? The very words they used were, "Roxanne is great, but her delivery stinks!"