At 32 she is the mother of five and dutiful wife to a man she doesn't really like. Her marriage was arranged when she was a child and when she left home for London to be married her father's parting gift was a brutal rape.
Marguerite has little sweetness in her life. She will not complain openly about her parents but speaks matter-of-factly about their long absences running the family's gemstone business, one of the reasons she spent a good part of her childhood with the nuns in Paris. She once tried to confide in her husband about the sexual assault committed by her father and her husband's response was anger that his new wife was "damaged goods." Marguerite knows that somehow she is capable of creating a better life for herself but does not know where to start.
Leaving her husband is high on Marguerite's priority list. She has already enlisted the financial support of her parents to make this change. While there is no social stigma for Marguerite in wanting to separate from her husband, she feels a deep moral failure. On each of the first two dates she and her children were ready to leave their home, Marguerite ended the day in the hospital with pancreatitis. On her third attempt to "absolutely walk out," she fell on some stairs and broke her ankle.
Cause and Effect
Marguerite thinks she is not good enough and deserves to suffer. Her evidence is that her parents showed no obvious interest in her, to the point where they sent her to live in another country for most of her young life. The arranged marriage is evidence that she has no value or function outside of a traditional subservient role and cannot even be trusted to make her own choice. The rape by her father sets the tone for her marriage to an angry man whose ambitions and interests lie outside their home and who barely speaks to her.
The pancreas makes chemicals that affect sugar in the body's cells and bloodstream. Problems with the pancreas are usually the result of little or no sweetness in life. Marguerite's pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas, point to her belief that her life lacks tenderness, compassion, regard and respect. Impersonal male authority figures in the form of doctors are in control of her future, replaying her father's and husband's roles.
Marguerite's final attempt to leave her husband is cut short by an accident that makes walking impossible. Our bodies obey our thoughts. When Marguerite's conscious mind said "walk out," her stronger thoughts of failure and prohibition conspired to create a situation in which the literal result was "I can't walk."
Today, Marguerite lives separately from her husband with four of her five children (her oldest child lives at college in another part of the state.) She has learned to disconnect from her past in a constructive way. Marguerite is on her way to letting her natural gifts and abilities shine through, and allowing her deep spirituality to blossom into a living energy that guides her daily actions. She has earned an advanced teaching degree and works at a local private school teaching young teens. Her lively intellect, calm manner, and that keen and ready sense of humor make her the most popular and effective teacher in school.
Marguerite still spends part of every day practicing her present time skills, and working her way through a reading list to help her develop a deeper understanding of how her mind, body and emotions work together. She is happier than she has ever been in her life and acknowledges her specialness and perfection every chance she gets.
Recommended reading: Healing and Holiness, Sondra Ray, Celestial Arts, 2002
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