Close your eyes for a moment and recall the last time you felt not good enough. Really feel it in detail -- what happened, who was involved, even what you were wearing. Go ahead, I'll wait............
Got it? Now answer three questions:
- What am I thinking?
- What is my body doing?
- What emotion do I feel?
These three answers are they key. They are the mental, physical and emotional patterns you repeat over and over. They are how you do I'm Not Good Enough. Go back over your answers and notice how familiar they are. Notice especially how you are dwelling on past mistakes. This is no longer about the current problem. You are remembering every time you have done something similar in the past and using that to beat yourself up.
To make real change and break free of this cycle, you need to stop using the past as a reference and stay in Present Time. This means you must catch yourself in the act of recreating the same mental, physical and emotional reactions, and replace at least two out of three with Present Time responses. Let's say your answers to the above questions are something like:
Mental: "Oh, great, I've done it again. When am I going to learn? Why does this happen to me? Why haven't I taken steps to fix this? I should have known. Etc., etc."
Physical: Tightness in shoulders and neck.
In Present Time, you could take the following steps:
Mental: "Stop. Take a breath. What is happening right now?"
Physical: Move your shoulders and neck. Shift your weight from foot to foot.
Emotional: What emotion is real right now? Is it really sadness, or something else?
If you can change two of your usual reactions, you will be well on your way to breaking this cycle of unhappiness. Real life, a.k.a. reality, is about Present Time, not about spending all your time paying for past mistakes. Present Time is all we ever have, and it is the Universe's gift to us. All we have to do is reach out and take it.